John's second return home

Whew! John finally was released from what I would call a crap stay at the hospital. It got a little crazy at times with the doctor. Some of those nurses were amazing and took really good care of both John and I. We wanted the cool ones to stay and hang out with us, but they had other patients that were in need. We heard about this one guy who wrecked on his motorcycle and broke a lot of bones, so between him and John his nurses were busy! Luckily John's sister was able to come down and help with the girls, she and her kids came down from Idaho right away and helped out tremendously! I don't even know how to thank her, she was a busy bee for the whole week!!!

Luckily John got to come home on Wednesday. John sister Missy and I had a little celebration planned. We were so excited, and the kids were too!(Before John got home)

I am so crazy lately I forgot to bring John a shirt to come home in. I felt bad he had to wear his gown home, but he made it look good. haha Missy and the kids made posters for John and wrote cute notes on the windows, they decorated with green because that is John's favorite color. It was way cute, Thanks MISSY!!!!!!

Here a few more pics of the party!!!(I think Mack was the most excited to see John)

(Not great of the kids, but still precious!)

Hospital Stay

It seems like it's been a long time that John has been in the hospital, I have been staying up there with him and coming home almost every day to check on the girls and for personal hygiene. I think I could see grease dripping out of my hair tonight, I was so nasty! haha Feels good to come home for a few.
John is feeling a lot better, they scared me last night and said that if he doesn't start breathing deeper or coughing he could get pneumonia. He had a fever of 102.5 and they were freaking out because of it, which made me freak out. Luckily his fever went down late this afternoon and he is feeling a ton better tonight. Last night was a pretty rough night for him. I feel so bad I have to watch him be in so much pain and all I can do is try to help him feel comfortable, I think since his surgery I have readjusted his pillows like 45 times.
I think he thinks if he moves into a different position he will feel better, but it's not working out so well. Tomorrow morning they are going to stop the suction on the chest tube and see how he is doing without it. He will not be coming home tomorrow.
John's sister Missy drove down from Idaho to help us with the girls. So nice of her! She has been helping a ton and we don't even know how to thank her! She brought the girls up to see John tonight because John was really missing them. They said hi to John and then were interested in all the things around in his room. It was a short visit, but hopefully everything John needed. I have been missing them too! It's weird not being around them.
I have a lot of people to thank for all their help and support through all this! I will be posting about that soon.

I have been feeling very comforted during all this and for some reason I am doing pretty good, just tired from not getting much sleep. I am just worried about John and hoping he can get over this soon, so he can move forward and get his treatments he needs.(This is the tube that was in John's back the first time. Starting from the gauze was all inside his back. That's why he is in so much pain, mostly.)

oh great, John has a high fever, hoping it isnt too serious!!!!

Surgery Today

So instead of the Doctor taking his chest tube out this morning, we heard news that they want do surgery on his lungs to ensure that his lung doesn't collapse again. Now I was working this morning so John's sister is up there with him. So I don't know any details about what they are going to be doing. Please pray and send good thoughts for John this morning!! I just got news that they are taking him back to the OR right now. All I know is that he will still have a chest tube when he gets out of surgery, so I feel bad for John, he is just very uncomfortable with that dang tube up his back!

He called and talked with the girls just now and said he was nervous. I will update on how he is doing when I hear and have time to share. I am heading to the hospital asap.

What the....

Yesterday John's lung collapsed and we all went up to the hospital and they put a pack on his back and told him that since his vitals were normal he could be sent home and wait till his lung went back to normal. John said yes to going home, not wanting to have to get another chest tube in his back.
But all day he was coughing a ton and he had fluid coming out of his back because of his lung collapsing that last night he was in a lot of pain and he started to swell pretty bad. So around 11:30pm after calling his doctor, we decided to go to the ER.
They brought him right back and waited for his doctor to get there. They worked fast and got him all ready to put the chest tube in and told me that I needed to step out. Right before John had asked me to come hold his hand because I could tell he was a lot anxious about it all. I walked out and told him I love him and he looked at me and told everyone "I don't want to, I don't want to do it."
They didn't really give him good pain meds and just numbed the area a little bit, he told me today that he could feel them cutting into him. By the way I forgot to mention they had to cut a new hole in him for this chest tube. Sucks!
The doctor told me after "Well this usually doesn't happen." So that's not cool! But hopefully it will be okay. While I was home showering John's friend called me and told me that they decided to sew up that other hole which cause the collapse. So that's good.
He will hopefully come home tomorrow, but may need to be in there a while longer to get his pain under control and make sure his lung stays inflated.

I can't even believe all the help and offers for helor us! It's more than words can say and I don't even feel like I am seeming grateful enough! If all I can say is thank you in return, it just doesn't feel like enough!! I love everyone and I am so thankful!!

Radiation tattoos (gross photo)

Yesterday at John's radiation appointment he got his first tattoo! I thought it was awesome because I had seen this episode of Friends a long time ago about how Phoebe wanted a tattoo but she was nervous about it. It was hilarious! So I called John's six dot tattoos planets as seen from a very far distance. Here is a pic of John's wounds from his surgery on Monday if you look close you can see a black dot with the ink all around it. That's one of his six new tattoos. He is still pretty sore, but doing a lot better!!
Don't forget to watch the clip from the friends episode below!! :)

Friends Pheobe's Tattoo

John's coming home!

John will be coming home this afternoon, his procedure went well. He had this huge chest tube in his back that was hurting him pretty bad. Once they took that out he started to feel better, they kept him an extra night because he was in a lot of pain. The doctor told him that he wont start feeling better for a few weeks, but in those next few weeks he will be starting cancer treatments that will make him tired. So hopefully he can start to feel better quicker than that.

Nervous for him to come home, but I'm sure we will figure it out. John's Mom came down from Idaho to help watch the girls while he has been in the hospital. My little sister is on her way up here today from Nevada to help us. I can't wait to see her, it's been a while! So nice of them to come help!

John has an his appointment on Thursday to get set for the Tomotherapy radiation. He will have to get small tattoos on his skin so they can treat the correct place each time he goes in.

The lab in California received John's tumor sample on Tuesday afternoon and had already started on it. They had to separate the normal cells from the cancer cells and then they could get started. They are rushing it for John. Awesome, because we are in a hurry!

I can't believe all the wonderful people out there in the world!! I can't believe that we are a part of this and are able to receive so much charity and love from tons of people! I am in awe at the amazing things people think of. I keep finding myself thinking that if I heard of someone going through a hard time, would I think of such good ideas to help them? This crazy cancer journey has been going on so long that we have been on the receiving end for too long! and still people are so giving and helpful!!!

Still feeling blessed in this way and also comforted by the Lord. What a blessing to know that we can always rely on our Heavenly Father for what we need a lot of, comfort! We love all you family and friends and thank you so much for all you have done for us and for John!!

Btw.... I started this blog earlier today and so John is home and resting and doing a lot better than yesterday, so I'm sure he will feel tons better tomorrow. :) and Roxy is having an "upside down party" while doing a head stand. So fun! haha

Biopsy/Surgery

So yesterday we went to see the doctor to get a consult for John's biopsy. The doctor was out of town until yesterday and that's why we had to wait so long. This Doctor is a Cardiovascular Surgeon. He was an older man and he knew what he was doing. He was the kind of doctor that talks to you like a doctor, like you know what he is even talking about?
So I still have tons of questions but we had to hurry because after waiting for an hour to see him we had to rush back to get the girls from the sitter.

When we told him about the test that John wanted to do with the biopsy, he wanted to run a few more tests on John's tumor of his own. He had all these ideas and was naming them one by one to us, I have no idea what the heck he was even saying. John wants to do this, so I am supporting him.

The actual biopsy is going to be more like a surgery, he has to go in on Monday morning at 10:30 to Ogden Regional, and then he will be staying over for one night.
The procedure will include the Doctor making 3 different incisions on Johns life side to get the his biggest tumor in his lungs. He will be putting a camera and two things in to grab the tumor.
He is going to take a look inside John's breathing tube where the tumor is and check to see if the tumor is inside of it or just near it.

If the tumor is inside the doctor will want John to get a type of radiation down his throat, The radiation down his throat he would have to go to sleep and get this done every 3 months or so (they think). If the tumor is not inside then they can just do targeted radiation which is not as harsh and he would not have to go to sleep for it. I am almost certain that it is inside of the tube because John has a wheezing noise sometimes when he breathes.

So they will have to deflate his left lung to get the samples from it, and they will be putting a tube in to inflate his lung when they are done, they want to keep him over night so they can monitor his pain.

I am freaking out at this point about all this because when my Dad was sick the doctors wanted to get a sample of his tumors for study purposes which they told my Dad that it would be for him, but I really think was for them! My Dad had a hole in his back that never really healed, he had a tube to drain the fluid, he was in lot of pain. My Mom said if she could go back she would not have my Dad get that done. I know that John and my Dad are different situations but it's hard when I am remember seeing my Dad so sick. John keeps telling me "It's not the same as your Dad." I know this, but I am just nervous! John is the one who has to go through it and I just don't want to see him hurting and sick again. I can't forget how sick he was 3 years ago on the radiation treatments he had on his neck. He was throwing up tons and lost tons of weight! He was extremely dehydrated by the end of all of it!

After they can get the biopsy done he will be going into the radiation specialist to get his body scan and tattoo the spots where they will be radiating his pelvic bone with the TomoTherapy. Then they said it takes almost a week after that to get everything set and ready for him. He will be getting 15 treatments in a row (on business days). Then he will be starting back on the Avastin and they should have the results back from the chemo testing place in California by then.

By the time they can get all this done it will have been 3 weeks since his last scan! Holy cow! It seems like forever becasuse his tumors grew so fast in those 4 weeks before that. I don't want him have to get these treatments but for the peace of mind I do. Just so we know that he is trying. He is determinded and ready for it. He is staying really positive and doing very well in that way. I am so proud of him for his courage at a time when I am completely nervous.

(My cousin Naomi gave us her free photo session, isn't that wonderful?)

Thank you everyone for everything you have done for us and for all support! It's unreal how people have helped us throughout all this!! Love you ALL!!!

More decisions.....

A few weeks ago John went to see a spine and neck specialists because his neck has been hurting for such a long time. I figure they could do some physical therapy or SOMETHING for him.
So the Spine doctor order a PET scan which is a scan they can see the whole body from the eyes to the toes. The last PET Scan John received was in Feb. 2010. I think the doctor wanted to rule out cancer in his neck before he treated John, just to be on the safe side.
So John called for the results on Tuesday and he told John he had seen some growth from his last PET Scan. The next day we met with his Oncologist and looked over the images with him to find a tumor in his left pelvic bone near his spine. Also we learned that his largest tumor in his lungs has doubled in size.
Upon hearing the news, I was very disappointed. All the hard work we have been putting in with the natural efforts and juggling everything else felt like it was pointless, maybe damaging. But we will NEVER know why this has happened.
John is going to stay on a healthy diet, no sugar, no meat, no dressings, no dairy, basically.
I am pretty sure he has decided to go the Chemo/Radiation route. He has an appointment Monday with a doctor in Layton to do radiation on his pelvic tumor. It's a radiation called Tomotherapy, I added a new link on the right side about that. He is going to be getting a biopsy from his lungs sent down to be tested in California where they will test 30 different types of Chemo to his tumors to see which one works best.
He will be getting radiation on the tumor in his lungs down his mouth, once every 3 months maybe.
He will be going back on the Avastin and get the chemo at the same time. Unless the testing in California determines a different drug for him.
So all this will start here in the next week or two. I am not looking forward to John being more sick than he already is. It's finally summer, and he is probably going to miss it. I am trying to get mentally prepared for what is to come.
The decisions are the hardest thing lately that we have been going through!
Thank you everyone for your support and prayers, keep them coming. :)

We love you all!!!(Shay's Kindergarten Graduation yesterday)