Yesterday John's lung collapsed and we all went up to the hospital and they put a pack on his back and told him that since his vitals were normal he could be sent home and wait till his lung went back to normal. John said yes to going home, not wanting to have to get another chest tube in his back.
But all day he was coughing a ton and he had fluid coming out of his back because of his lung collapsing that last night he was in a lot of pain and he started to swell pretty bad. So around 11:30pm after calling his doctor, we decided to go to the ER.
They brought him right back and waited for his doctor to get there. They worked fast and got him all ready to put the chest tube in and told me that I needed to step out. Right before John had asked me to come hold his hand because I could tell he was a lot anxious about it all. I walked out and told him I love him and he looked at me and told everyone "I don't want to, I don't want to do it."
They didn't really give him good pain meds and just numbed the area a little bit, he told me today that he could feel them cutting into him. By the way I forgot to mention they had to cut a new hole in him for this chest tube. Sucks!
The doctor told me after "Well this usually doesn't happen." So that's not cool! But hopefully it will be okay. While I was home showering John's friend called me and told me that they decided to sew up that other hole which cause the collapse. So that's good.
He will hopefully come home tomorrow, but may need to be in there a while longer to get his pain under control and make sure his lung stays inflated.
I can't even believe all the help and offers for helor us! It's more than words can say and I don't even feel like I am seeming grateful enough! If all I can say is thank you in return, it just doesn't feel like enough!! I love everyone and I am so thankful!!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Radiation tattoos (gross photo)
Yesterday at John's radiation appointment he got his first tattoo! I thought it was awesome because I had seen this episode of Friends a long time ago about how Phoebe wanted a tattoo but she was nervous about it. It was hilarious! So I called John's six dot tattoos planets as seen from a very far distance. 
Here is a pic of John's wounds from his surgery on Monday if you look close you can see a black dot with the ink all around it. That's one of his six new tattoos. He is still pretty sore, but doing a lot better!!
Don't forget to watch the clip from the friends episode below!! :)
Here is a pic of John's wounds from his surgery on Monday if you look close you can see a black dot with the ink all around it. That's one of his six new tattoos. He is still pretty sore, but doing a lot better!!Don't forget to watch the clip from the friends episode below!! :)
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
John's coming home!
John will be coming home this afternoon, his procedure went well. He had this huge chest tube in his back that was hurting him pretty bad. Once they took that out he started to feel better, they kept him an extra night because he was in a lot of pain. The doctor told him that he wont start feeling better for a few weeks, but in those next few weeks he will be starting cancer treatments that will make him tired. So hopefully he can start to feel better quicker than that.
Nervous for him to come home, but I'm sure we will figure it out. John's Mom came down from Idaho to help watch the girls while he has been in the hospital. My little sister is on her way up here today from Nevada to help us. I can't wait to see her, it's been a while! So nice of them to come help!
John has an his appointment on Thursday to get set for the Tomotherapy radiation. He will have to get small tattoos on his skin so they can treat the correct place each time he goes in.
The lab in California received John's tumor sample on Tuesday afternoon and had already started on it. They had to separate the normal cells from the cancer cells and then they could get started. They are rushing it for John. Awesome, because we are in a hurry!
I can't believe all the wonderful people out there in the world!! I can't believe that we are a part of this and are able to receive so much charity and love from tons of people! I am in awe at the amazing things people think of. I keep finding myself thinking that if I heard of someone going through a hard time, would I think of such good ideas to help them? This crazy cancer journey has been going on so long that we have been on the receiving end for too long! and still people are so giving and helpful!!!
Still feeling blessed in this way and also comforted by the Lord. What a blessing to know that we can always rely on our Heavenly Father for what we need a lot of, comfort! We love all you family and friends and thank you so much for all you have done for us and for John!!
Btw.... I started this blog earlier today and so John is home and resting and doing a lot better than yesterday, so I'm sure he will feel tons better tomorrow. :) and Roxy is having an "upside down party" while doing a head stand. So fun! haha
Nervous for him to come home, but I'm sure we will figure it out. John's Mom came down from Idaho to help watch the girls while he has been in the hospital. My little sister is on her way up here today from Nevada to help us. I can't wait to see her, it's been a while! So nice of them to come help!
John has an his appointment on Thursday to get set for the Tomotherapy radiation. He will have to get small tattoos on his skin so they can treat the correct place each time he goes in.
The lab in California received John's tumor sample on Tuesday afternoon and had already started on it. They had to separate the normal cells from the cancer cells and then they could get started. They are rushing it for John. Awesome, because we are in a hurry!
I can't believe all the wonderful people out there in the world!! I can't believe that we are a part of this and are able to receive so much charity and love from tons of people! I am in awe at the amazing things people think of. I keep finding myself thinking that if I heard of someone going through a hard time, would I think of such good ideas to help them? This crazy cancer journey has been going on so long that we have been on the receiving end for too long! and still people are so giving and helpful!!!
Still feeling blessed in this way and also comforted by the Lord. What a blessing to know that we can always rely on our Heavenly Father for what we need a lot of, comfort! We love all you family and friends and thank you so much for all you have done for us and for John!!
Btw.... I started this blog earlier today and so John is home and resting and doing a lot better than yesterday, so I'm sure he will feel tons better tomorrow. :) and Roxy is having an "upside down party" while doing a head stand. So fun! haha
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Biopsy/Surgery
So yesterday we went to see the doctor to get a consult for John's biopsy. The doctor was out of town until yesterday and that's why we had to wait so long. This Doctor is a Cardiovascular Surgeon. He was an older man and he knew what he was doing. He was the kind of doctor that talks to you like a doctor, like you know what he is even talking about?
So I still have tons of questions but we had to hurry because after waiting for an hour to see him we had to rush back to get the girls from the sitter.
When we told him about the test that John wanted to do with the biopsy, he wanted to run a few more tests on John's tumor of his own. He had all these ideas and was naming them one by one to us, I have no idea what the heck he was even saying. John wants to do this, so I am supporting him.
The actual biopsy is going to be more like a surgery, he has to go in on Monday morning at 10:30 to Ogden Regional, and then he will be staying over for one night.
The procedure will include the Doctor making 3 different incisions on Johns life side to get the his biggest tumor in his lungs. He will be putting a camera and two things in to grab the tumor.
He is going to take a look inside John's breathing tube where the tumor is and check to see if the tumor is inside of it or just near it.
If the tumor is inside the doctor will want John to get a type of radiation down his throat, The radiation down his throat he would have to go to sleep and get this done every 3 months or so (they think). If the tumor is not inside then they can just do targeted radiation which is not as harsh and he would not have to go to sleep for it. I am almost certain that it is inside of the tube because John has a wheezing noise sometimes when he breathes.
So they will have to deflate his left lung to get the samples from it, and they will be putting a tube in to inflate his lung when they are done, they want to keep him over night so they can monitor his pain.
I am freaking out at this point about all this because when my Dad was sick the doctors wanted to get a sample of his tumors for study purposes which they told my Dad that it would be for him, but I really think was for them! My Dad had a hole in his back that never really healed, he had a tube to drain the fluid, he was in lot of pain. My Mom said if she could go back she would not have my Dad get that done. I know that John and my Dad are different situations but it's hard when I am remember seeing my Dad so sick. John keeps telling me "It's not the same as your Dad." I know this, but I am just nervous! John is the one who has to go through it and I just don't want to see him hurting and sick again. I can't forget how sick he was 3 years ago on the radiation treatments he had on his neck. He was throwing up tons and lost tons of weight! He was extremely dehydrated by the end of all of it!
After they can get the biopsy done he will be going into the radiation specialist to get his body scan and tattoo the spots where they will be radiating his pelvic bone with the TomoTherapy. Then they said it takes almost a week after that to get everything set and ready for him. He will be getting 15 treatments in a row (on business days). Then he will be starting back on the Avastin and they should have the results back from the chemo testing place in California by then.
By the time they can get all this done it will have been 3 weeks since his last scan! Holy cow! It seems like forever becasuse his tumors grew so fast in those 4 weeks before that. I don't want him have to get these treatments but for the peace of mind I do. Just so we know that he is trying. He is determinded and ready for it. He is staying really positive and doing very well in that way. I am so proud of him for his courage at a time when I am completely nervous.
(My cousin Naomi gave us her free photo session, isn't that wonderful?)
Thank you everyone for everything you have done for us and for all support! It's unreal how people have helped us throughout all this!! Love you ALL!!!
So I still have tons of questions but we had to hurry because after waiting for an hour to see him we had to rush back to get the girls from the sitter.
When we told him about the test that John wanted to do with the biopsy, he wanted to run a few more tests on John's tumor of his own. He had all these ideas and was naming them one by one to us, I have no idea what the heck he was even saying. John wants to do this, so I am supporting him.
The actual biopsy is going to be more like a surgery, he has to go in on Monday morning at 10:30 to Ogden Regional, and then he will be staying over for one night.
The procedure will include the Doctor making 3 different incisions on Johns life side to get the his biggest tumor in his lungs. He will be putting a camera and two things in to grab the tumor.
He is going to take a look inside John's breathing tube where the tumor is and check to see if the tumor is inside of it or just near it.
If the tumor is inside the doctor will want John to get a type of radiation down his throat, The radiation down his throat he would have to go to sleep and get this done every 3 months or so (they think). If the tumor is not inside then they can just do targeted radiation which is not as harsh and he would not have to go to sleep for it. I am almost certain that it is inside of the tube because John has a wheezing noise sometimes when he breathes.
So they will have to deflate his left lung to get the samples from it, and they will be putting a tube in to inflate his lung when they are done, they want to keep him over night so they can monitor his pain.
I am freaking out at this point about all this because when my Dad was sick the doctors wanted to get a sample of his tumors for study purposes which they told my Dad that it would be for him, but I really think was for them! My Dad had a hole in his back that never really healed, he had a tube to drain the fluid, he was in lot of pain. My Mom said if she could go back she would not have my Dad get that done. I know that John and my Dad are different situations but it's hard when I am remember seeing my Dad so sick. John keeps telling me "It's not the same as your Dad." I know this, but I am just nervous! John is the one who has to go through it and I just don't want to see him hurting and sick again. I can't forget how sick he was 3 years ago on the radiation treatments he had on his neck. He was throwing up tons and lost tons of weight! He was extremely dehydrated by the end of all of it!
After they can get the biopsy done he will be going into the radiation specialist to get his body scan and tattoo the spots where they will be radiating his pelvic bone with the TomoTherapy. Then they said it takes almost a week after that to get everything set and ready for him. He will be getting 15 treatments in a row (on business days). Then he will be starting back on the Avastin and they should have the results back from the chemo testing place in California by then.
By the time they can get all this done it will have been 3 weeks since his last scan! Holy cow! It seems like forever becasuse his tumors grew so fast in those 4 weeks before that. I don't want him have to get these treatments but for the peace of mind I do. Just so we know that he is trying. He is determinded and ready for it. He is staying really positive and doing very well in that way. I am so proud of him for his courage at a time when I am completely nervous.
(My cousin Naomi gave us her free photo session, isn't that wonderful?)Thank you everyone for everything you have done for us and for all support! It's unreal how people have helped us throughout all this!! Love you ALL!!!
Saturday, June 4, 2011
More decisions.....
A few weeks ago John went to see a spine and neck specialists because his neck has been hurting for such a long time. I figure they could do some physical therapy or SOMETHING for him.
So the Spine doctor order a PET scan which is a scan they can see the whole body from the eyes to the toes. The last PET Scan John received was in Feb. 2010. I think the doctor wanted to rule out cancer in his neck before he treated John, just to be on the safe side.
So John called for the results on Tuesday and he told John he had seen some growth from his last PET Scan. The next day we met with his Oncologist and looked over the images with him to find a tumor in his left pelvic bone near his spine. Also we learned that his largest tumor in his lungs has doubled in size.
Upon hearing the news, I was very disappointed. All the hard work we have been putting in with the natural efforts and juggling everything else felt like it was pointless, maybe damaging. But we will NEVER know why this has happened.
John is going to stay on a healthy diet, no sugar, no meat, no dressings, no dairy, basically.
I am pretty sure he has decided to go the Chemo/Radiation route. He has an appointment Monday with a doctor in Layton to do radiation on his pelvic tumor. It's a radiation called Tomotherapy, I added a new link on the right side about that. He is going to be getting a biopsy from his lungs sent down to be tested in California where they will test 30 different types of Chemo to his tumors to see which one works best.
He will be getting radiation on the tumor in his lungs down his mouth, once every 3 months maybe.
He will be going back on the Avastin and get the chemo at the same time. Unless the testing in California determines a different drug for him.
So all this will start here in the next week or two. I am not looking forward to John being more sick than he already is. It's finally summer, and he is probably going to miss it. I am trying to get mentally prepared for what is to come.
The decisions are the hardest thing lately that we have been going through!
Thank you everyone for your support and prayers, keep them coming. :)
So the Spine doctor order a PET scan which is a scan they can see the whole body from the eyes to the toes. The last PET Scan John received was in Feb. 2010. I think the doctor wanted to rule out cancer in his neck before he treated John, just to be on the safe side.
So John called for the results on Tuesday and he told John he had seen some growth from his last PET Scan. The next day we met with his Oncologist and looked over the images with him to find a tumor in his left pelvic bone near his spine. Also we learned that his largest tumor in his lungs has doubled in size.
Upon hearing the news, I was very disappointed. All the hard work we have been putting in with the natural efforts and juggling everything else felt like it was pointless, maybe damaging. But we will NEVER know why this has happened.
John is going to stay on a healthy diet, no sugar, no meat, no dressings, no dairy, basically.
I am pretty sure he has decided to go the Chemo/Radiation route. He has an appointment Monday with a doctor in Layton to do radiation on his pelvic tumor. It's a radiation called Tomotherapy, I added a new link on the right side about that. He is going to be getting a biopsy from his lungs sent down to be tested in California where they will test 30 different types of Chemo to his tumors to see which one works best.
He will be getting radiation on the tumor in his lungs down his mouth, once every 3 months maybe.
He will be going back on the Avastin and get the chemo at the same time. Unless the testing in California determines a different drug for him.
So all this will start here in the next week or two. I am not looking forward to John being more sick than he already is. It's finally summer, and he is probably going to miss it. I am trying to get mentally prepared for what is to come.
The decisions are the hardest thing lately that we have been going through!
Thank you everyone for your support and prayers, keep them coming. :)
We love you all!!!
(Shay's Kindergarten Graduation yesterday)
(Shay's Kindergarten Graduation yesterday)Thursday, May 19, 2011
3 and a half years
It's been a long 3 1/2 years since John has been diagnosed with cancer. Lots of ups and downs!!! It's crazy to go back and think about all the things we have come across, choices we have had to make, and people who have helped us along the way.
What a blessing to live in this age where we were able to find out what John has and have the friends and family around us to support us through this journey.
I can't help but think back and remember how blessed we really are and how it feels like John has had cancer for a LONG time now. I don't really remember what it was like before. It's a part of us, it's a big part of my life.
I just keep thinking how I don't want to lose John and how hard it would be for me and my girls. As John just slowly gets sicker and sicker I try not to remember all the feelings and thoughts I had when my Dad was sick with cancer. I try to tell myself it's not the same, but I sure do know what it feels like to lose and miss someone that is so close.
It's almost been 13 years since my Dad died. I still miss him everyday and wish I could just call and talk to him and ask him what to do. I don't want to miss John like that too!
I wish there was someone who could tell us this will make John better, this is exactly what you should do. I wish we knew what the future held then we could plan accordingly. That's been one of the hardest things is having to wait and see what happens. I am not very patient but I have learned a lot of it!
So thankful for the gospel in my life!! Don't know what I would be doing without it. I am so thankful for the Savior and for his sacrifice for me, for John! I know John will be blessed and taken care of no matter what. I love my family and I am so grateful to be able to have the chance to be with them forever.
What a blessing to live in this age where we were able to find out what John has and have the friends and family around us to support us through this journey.
I can't help but think back and remember how blessed we really are and how it feels like John has had cancer for a LONG time now. I don't really remember what it was like before. It's a part of us, it's a big part of my life.
I just keep thinking how I don't want to lose John and how hard it would be for me and my girls. As John just slowly gets sicker and sicker I try not to remember all the feelings and thoughts I had when my Dad was sick with cancer. I try to tell myself it's not the same, but I sure do know what it feels like to lose and miss someone that is so close.
It's almost been 13 years since my Dad died. I still miss him everyday and wish I could just call and talk to him and ask him what to do. I don't want to miss John like that too!
I wish there was someone who could tell us this will make John better, this is exactly what you should do. I wish we knew what the future held then we could plan accordingly. That's been one of the hardest things is having to wait and see what happens. I am not very patient but I have learned a lot of it!
So thankful for the gospel in my life!! Don't know what I would be doing without it. I am so thankful for the Savior and for his sacrifice for me, for John! I know John will be blessed and taken care of no matter what. I love my family and I am so grateful to be able to have the chance to be with them forever.
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